But I'm only human

I always thought that I could live better

I could forget you

I could forget everything

I can erased the memories, the pain

yes, I'm able to

but it's too easy to be triggered in my mind

that you are the worst thing happened in my life

You destroyed my feeling

You  destroyed my core

You're worse than any trash

be gone!

All I can do right now is to change myself

to change everything

I'm determined, yet I'm fragile

It has been a long long time

How long do I need to fix this complicated feeling

Everyone said they understand

but do they?

It's so hard...

We're always in a better place to give people advices

to cheer them when they needed

to comfort them when they are in pain

but who shall we depends while we're in the depth of darkness

This world is not as simple as we thought

Bad people, villains... 

They're not just a story plot in books and movies

They're literally fucking real in this world

what they've stolen is much more precious than a million worth diamond

our heart

our trust

our feel

A song by Christina Perri I listened recently

I listen to it... again.. again... and again...

Meaningful lyrics

Short, yet powerful and true lyrics

But I'm only human

and I bleed when I fall down

But I'm only human

and I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knifes in my heart

You build me up but then I fall apart

Coz I'm only human

Pain is now

Scar is forever

But pain always comes with scars

One scar can followed by a million times of pain

what to do

the world is not a friendly place

where you can just sit down and relax

it attacks you at the time when you're the most vulnerable

even you're invincible

you never able to avoid it

For now

what I can do is just keep on forget

workout

change myself

change my mind

Cause I know it perfectly

you're not even worth a tiny bit in my heart and mind

I fight the shadow with my light

To end this pain of my inner fight

fuck you