Sunday, March 16, 2014

But I'm only human

I always thought that I could live better
I could forget you
I could forget everything
I can erased the memories, the pain
yes, I'm able to
but it's too easy to be triggered in my mind
that you are the worst thing happened in my life
You destroyed my feeling
You  destroyed my core
You're worse than any trash
be gone!

All I can do right now is to change myself
to change everything
I'm determined, yet I'm fragile
It has been a long long time
How long do I need to fix this complicated feeling
Everyone said they understand
but do they?
It's so hard...

We're always in a better place to give people advices
to cheer them when they needed
to comfort them when they are in pain
but who shall we depends while we're in the depth of darkness

This world is not as simple as we thought
Bad people, villains... 
They're not just a story plot in books and movies
They're literally fucking real in this world
what they've stolen is much more precious than a million worth diamond
our heart
our trust
our feel

A song by Christina Perri I listened recently
I listen to it... again.. again... and again...
Meaningful lyrics
Short, yet powerful and true lyrics

But I'm only human
and I bleed when I fall down
But I'm only human
and I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knifes in my heart
You build me up but then I fall apart
Coz I'm only human

Pain is now
Scar is forever
But pain always comes with scars
One scar can followed by a million times of pain
what to do
the world is not a friendly place
where you can just sit down and relax
it attacks you at the time when you're the most vulnerable
even you're invincible
you never able to avoid it

For now
what I can do is just keep on forget
change myself
change my mind
Cause I know it perfectly
you're not even worth a tiny bit in my heart and mind

I fight the shadow with my light
To end this pain of my inner fight
fuck you

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