Sunday, July 31, 2011

Living my own world

I got to prepare for it
I have to think for the worst
though I don't want it to end

it's hurt
like I used to be
it's the same thing
I fell into it
and I never climb back
unless I was forced to be buried inside

for once
I did thing I not dare to do
with the help of alcohol
of course it's no good
but this is the last time

I will give you
anything 
anything
but how could I do for it
I can't do a thing
I couldnt

for times
I've stayed here for years
Still the same
Broken Heart Never End
ya
but never mind
it's the path I have to go through
everyone has to go through

I wonder
have you gone through this?
before?
I wonder
I don't understand you
Wanna know more
more of you
only if you allowed

seems like I'm living in my own world
like a crazy

Saturday, July 30, 2011

The thing I can't have

It happened again
A line from 'The Hangover 2'
never thought i could use it in reality
it's good
or it's bad
I didn't really know
as I hardly squeeze my brain to know what happened
well
at least I still have my fingers in the position

I don't feel well
physically
yes
as well as inside me
I cant deny
Though I don't really recall what I've said last night
but I feel like I've talked too much
what did i said?

it's so close
yet it's so far
in fact
it's impossible
i cant fight it
i cant have it
but still i hunger for it
why
i cant get the chance to feel
more...
and more...

i like pop love song
heart broken song
i like the lyrics
even it's break up song
although it doesn't fit into what i'm going through
i just like it


C'mon c'mon don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
it means another way in the lyrics
but i like it in my own way

i could stay like this
i could give you everything
just stay like this until...
until I couldn't feel anything
it just needs to take a long long time

니가 너무 촣아
진짜요

Friday, July 29, 2011

Mask

this is real, this is me
why can't you see
this is what i used to be

i smile
i laugh
i live in it
I'm just don't wan to face the truth
yet... at least... yet...

I want to make it longer
but time is running out
people don't think the way we think
they won't understand
how could they
as no one in the world really means to understand each other

being different
being fake
this is real
this is me
i'm exactly what I'm supposed to be
gonna let the light
shine on me
but it's almost time to turn the light off

just stay like this
like this
nothing gonna change
no accident
no expose
just like this

i don't have my dear friends here
i cant stand being alone again
alone in the dark
yes... i used to be in the dark
its not good
really

how i wish i could freeze time
its so archaic to use this phrase
but its the truth
i wanna freeze the time whenever i want
when the most precious moment fades away
i could save it
just save it
to save me

this is just another love
a hopeless love
i shall not give too much hope
i dont wan to fall into pieces again
its hurt
its really hurt
you dont know
you really dont know

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I want you to know

Are you aware of what you made me feel
Are you?
No, I think not =(

Love can be blind
Love can be blended through time
I cant get my love
that is why I keep on finding someone to love
it's been a long time I had a crush on someone
I feel the excitement
I feel the pain at the same time
I can't face the truth
I keep on dreaming
I keep on imagine
but everything's just an illusion
yet I still live in it

it's none other than the same as the past
I love very much
I love secretly
I swallow the pain at the time I realize the reality 
and then hidden from it again
I look at you secretly
What can I do
What's not meant to be is not meant to be
What's forbidden is always forbidden
I should stay silence

I used to live like this
forever and ever
I can't complain
I can only cry and hate my life

How I wish you know
no matter yes or no
I just want to know

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Underneath my smile, can you see?

Some secrets need to be kept...
Some story should never been told...

A lyrics I like it so much...
Hilary Duff
Dangerous to Know
what's really dangerous to know...
the truth...
human's reaction...
I cant bare it...

Underneath this Smile
again...
Hilary Duff
I've shown it..
a thousand times...
that's the real me...
but...
no one knows...
how could they know...
as I'm not the center of the world...

Hide Away
you know
Hilary Duff
I hide for so long
and now I'm free
why do I feel empty

I say what I have to say
I do what I have to do
Unlike playing poker
for once
I thought I could lose the game
but surprisingly
I won
but do I?
Do I won?

I smile
I laugh
My heart wrenches at the same time
it's the worst
I smile and heartbreak at the same time
I feel much much worse than I used to be years ago
I thought those days were the worst
but I think I never know what's the worst
as I'm still living

Being not the same
I...
I cant say anything but just silence

Go away
Go away my pain
half pain
everyone has their past
everyone learns something in the past
They get something new and wonderful in this hour

Looking at them
my eyes fill with jealousy and hatred
but I can't
I didn't get it
I'm not meant to be
How I wish I could just die
and say this word coolly

"Let me bring this secret together to the grave"

Guess I'm just not ready to give up yet
and there's still many heartbreak ready for me
being like this
unlikely to be my desire
I'm just like this

you can't take it?
just go away
don't put salt on my wound anymore
I don't want to feel this pain anymore
I just need to remember
Hide Away
Underneath this Smile
Dangerous to know
yes...
it's dangerous..
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